sleepless and busy week~~~

FUUHHH~~~~!

had a busy days last week~~~

shift house, shopping, sis convo~

my 2nd sis had got a job and found a place to saty for her job~~~

it is at SS6~~

is very damn far~~~

i went there wif her to look for house for twice~ finally she got it....

thx god..

last thursday my dad drive his MPV car to kl to help my sister to shift all her things all the way from Wangsa Maju to SS6~~~

lol..

i was there too~~

she got lots of things.. and oni 3 of us worked out~~~~

i had a sleepless night the day before tat~~~

i slept for oni 2 hours~~

T.T

totally cant fall asleep~~

my mind kept thinking and thinking..

can stop !

damn it!!!(hope tat there is a button to press to let me stop thinking~~)

luckily i drank a bottle of BRANDS..

and it kept my body steady and done all the works~~

thx~~

xDD

we moved whole day till evening~~ we were exhauted ~~~

reached home bout 5pm~~~

then i went to bed at bout 12pm~

i woke up at bout 3pm in the next day~~

wow~~~

recharged 99 for 13 hours!!!

xDD

On the saturday~~

woke up at 12 pm~~

angie suddenly walked into my room and asked me~~~

any plans for today???

i answered>> nope~

she said>> lets go ! Pavillion!

errr~~~

seem i was very free ~

then i juz said ok lo...~~~

xD

me, lemon, angie, ryan and louis~

we reached there bout 1pm~~

then juz shopping around~~~

thinking to go for movie~~but fullhouse!

aiks...

angie recommened us something to eat~~

it was a stall named"Snowflakes" ..is a taiwanese food~~

looked very niz~~ then i tried it~~

man tau~~ i forgot i dun like soya!!!

and the ice is soya flavour~~~

T.T

in order not to waste it~~~

force myself to eat as much as i can~~~

cant finished it at last also!!!

wasted my money!!!!

><"""

The next day was my eldest sister convocation day!!!

and i woke up at 5.30 am coz it started at 7.30pm~~

same thing happened to me again~~~

slep for 2 hours on the day b4 tat~~~

insomia(same as wat happened to me right now!) ~~~

T.T

but i made it by BRANDS again~~

hee~~~

i be my sister photographer during her whole convocation~~

thx for angie camera~~~

^^

it really tired~~~

really exhauted~~~

anyway congratz to me sister for her convocation and had completed her life in university~~

i still got 2 years to go oni can be like her~~~

free from the pressure of study and taking exam~~~~

i nid to be tuft and put lots of hardworks in this 2 years for everything!

tats my GOAL!

gud luck to myself!

eyes finally tired ad~~~

good night to u~~~

and sweet sweet dream yea~~~

^^

0239 midnight~~~

0239am~~~

emotion mood suddenly switched after sitting alone at the balcony and looking at the pretty sky~~~

while sitting there~~~

suddenly lots of things popped out of my mind~~~

one of them is for sure exam~~~

is juz round the corner~~~

let me think again~~

if if if~~ i failed this time again~~

wat should i do??

dad told me ~if i failed again this time ~he not going to giv me money to continue study lerh~~~

quite a heavy tension~~~><"""

keep thinking how is if i failed???

aiks~~~

i really really scare of it~~

the afraidness is more than the happening of doomsday ><"""

why my life must be like this???

why cant like my friends~~

finished their stuy smoothly~~~

passed all the times~~~

play, eat, enjoy their life while studying~~~

when is my turn????

aiks~~~

afraid there is no chance~~~

i feel very inferior to myself~~~

coz i cant do well in everythings~~~

everytime being scolded, being tease by others~

not oni that~~~

I HAD WASTED RM1120 FOR RESITING PAPER IN DIPLOMA ><"""""""

WHY WHY WHY???!!!!??!!??!?!?!?

why i nid to waste this type of unnecessary money while others no nid???!!!

issit i am not serious enough in study????

i guess tat is not true~~~

i study them like hell every exam time~~~

study 14 hours per day!!!

maybe tats the truth tat i nid to fail b4 i can pass~~~

@@"""

KL life is not fun for me currently~~~

i feel alone~~~

when everytime i got personal problem, i cant find anyone to chat wif~~~

cant find anyone to shout out to release out of my mind~~~

thinking to go trvel alone but not enough $$$~~

cant do anything!

amithaba~~~

i hope i can get rid of this kind of life as soon as possible~~~

actually i having a new plan for myself~~~

but dun noe it work o not~~~

@@""

after this resit subjects~~~

then if nid help then i go help out some in tt night~~

stage for sure~~

others things i dun noe~~

==""

then in may ~~

going to have a short course on japanese language while waiting for my advanced on september~~

issit possible???

anyone accompny me for this short course???

dun feel like going to learn alone~~

hee~~~

xD

mean while can get some part time jobs to fill up my free time~~

and not going to look for full time jobs lerh~~~

i tried last few weeks~~~

are not easy to get a job for a diploma certs holder~~~

><"""

i hope this plan works~~~

*wink*

xDD

after write it all out here i feel bit better to sleep lerh~~

heee~~

good night to u ~~~

sweet sweet dream lar~~~

xD

sad tragedy hits japan~~

On the 11th march 2011, 2:05pm~

a great natural disaster hit japan, Sendai~~

is the same tat was happend in 26th december 2004 tat hit Northern Sumatra~~~

100,000++ was killed during tat great tsunami~~~

i saw some videos from facebook tat posted by someone~~

all the cars, houses, buildings being swept away by the waves tsunami~~~

current report is hundreds of them dead and lots of them hurts and lost~~~

and the report stated tat the number of dead will increase as time past~~

><""

pray hard for them~~

hope this great waves will stop as soon as possible~~

but i really dun understand tat why still got people tat is so happy tat this disaster hits japan??!!!

Some of them said that the Japanese deserve this~~

LOL!!

WTF??!!

Some of them saying tat this is the judgement of the tragedy of NANJING Massacre~~~

lol....

some of said tat is the god making fool wif the humans~~

aiks~~~

u all really brainless!

it was natural disaster!

no one hoping for it!

no one aking this happened!

and shouldn't be so impressed with it to the people who suffered from this disaster~~~

to wat u all had said and done~~

"U" are the one will deserved a judgement one day!!!

><""""

as wat i noe~

they are still lots of people praying hard from the people who suffering from the disaster~~

amithaba~~~

hope everything will back to normal soon~~~~

its been a year~~~~

00:00 now~~~

sitting in front of the screen of my laptop~~~

updating my blog~~~

i wasted almost one year ~~

its been one year!!!

damn fast the time past!!

and i dun really noe wat i had done within this one year except doing nothing~~~

LOL~~

==""

staying in kl~~

doing ntg~~

wake up in the afternoon everyday~~~

skip breakfast and lunch~~

go straight to the dinner~~~

i think i am trying to kill myself~~~

is this one year time~~

made my life upside down~~~

everythings changed~~~

everythings different from wat i expecting for b4 i came into this college to continue my diploma course~~

aiks~~~

why others people can smoothly done and succeed in their study and continue their advanced??

WHY???!!!

because i am stupid????

i admit tat i am not good in studying~~~

and actually i dun like study very much!!!

in other to get a good career and had a good life in the coming few years~~

i had to study~~

this is wat i force myself to do~~~

@@"""

and i cant do it welll~~~

wasted my one year life~~

wasted my one year daily expenses~~~

wasted money for all those stupid resit subjects~~~

After i failed to complete my diploma in time~~~

lots of time i had planned to giv up my study~~~

go out for work~~~

but dploma certs~

can i really get myself a good career??

would i really earn enough money to take care of my parents and my future family???

is not enough!!!

tats wat i told myself~~~

and i nid to be hard-hearted enough to finished this boring and torture year~~~

aiks~~~

i told myself tat this one year is a training for myself before i get into the real world in the coming years~~~

hope tat is the truth~~~

^^

the "doom day" is reaching me in juz less than a months~

all is theory!!!

aiks~~

had to face it also~~

good luck to myelf !!!

going to start swallow all the notes soon~~~

gambatek!!!

xD

hestitating~~~

Now is 0226am~
another sleepless night~~~
i am very tired but cant fall asleep.. dun noe y~~><"

went for 2 interviews last weeks~~

the first company is VECTOR sdn bhd, is international company~~

i was very happy went i got a call from the company and invited me for an interview~

the job i registered was Project coordinator~~

after i went for interview at around the Ampang line >> Miharja station~
oni i got to noe tat this job need to trvel alots~
around the whole malaysia.... @@""
and nid to go to the sites and get the informations clearly oni i can prepare the paper works~~~
lol...
it is a company tat do installation of CCTV for a whole new built building~~
more than a hundred CCTV being installed in one project~~
the oni problem i faced here is nid to travel around the whole malaysia~~
anywhere~~~
and sometimes nid to stay there~~
@@""
i still hav one resit subject to study summore~~
issit suitable for me to accept this jobs???
aiks~~~


The second company is Texas Instrument Malaysia~
is also a quite big company~~~
i went for interview on last few days~~~
the job i applied was technician~~
he say he can oni giv rm 1100 for a technician~~@@
ok fine~~
and the second problem is~
technician nid to work in shift~
divided into 2 shift~
1st shift>> 7am-7pm
2st shift>> 7pm-7am
and the shift is changing in alternate 4 days~
i dun think i can switch my sleeping time like tat..
but the pay not bad~~
included OT will be rm 2000++ monthly~~
LOL!!!
aiks....

dissapointed again~~
anyhow~~
still hesitating whether wanna to go for the second one o not~~~
the pay is interesting ~
and the oni problem is the time circulation~~~
@@""""

dun wan to think lerh..

sleep better~~
good night and sweet dream to u ~~~

hehe..

^^

feeling alone ~.~

is 0325am now~~~
juz back from my dinner+supper at MCD wif my housemates~~
been ther from bout 2hours~~
backed at home now~
thinking to sleep ~
but is too full to do tat..
afraid of fatness~~~
heee~~~xD
while sitting on my bed and facing my comp~~
with the bad altitude~
start thinking dump again~~~
and making myself felt alone and cant do things well, straight to the point >> useless~
after my plan for this year ruined by the stupid subject i failed~
i feel damn free and feel like i am a useless guys sitting at home everyday doing the same things>> wake up in the afternoon , eat, watch movie, sleep, mahjong and others useless things tat cant bring myself any benefits~~
the things i should do now is study and get myself really prepared for the last stupid resit subject~
in the meanwhile i should go find some part time job to fill up my free time to earn some pocket money~~
BUT WAT AM I DOING NOW AT HOME EVERYDAY ??!!!???
can i kill myself???
when i wake up everyday, there is no one at home~~
all of them had their own things to do~~
classes and works~
but for me keep repeating the same activities everyday!
>hey !!!
this is not the life i am lookig for~~
i wan my life to be fulled with useful activities!
haiz~~~~
feeling dissapointeddddddd~~~~~
i hope tat can change my life a.s.a.p~~~~

change title~~~
all my housemates are coupled now~
even 31 and dee~~~
left oni me~~~
sometimes saw their sweet acts~
o anythings can chat wif each others~~
and also able to cook and having dinner togather~~
and i will feel envy wif that...
coz i oni can see oni~~
can hav it~~
><""
everytimes i saw it~~~
ur face will auntomatically pop out in my mind~~~
telling the truth~
i miss u~~~
i these fews months~~~
i dreamt of u many times ad~~~
but juz a dream~~
aiks....
everytime i dream of u ~~~
i hope tat i can sleeep for my whole life and never wake up~~~
i got to accept the truth tat it juz a dreammmm~~~
sad~
@@
write till here lar..
my eyes is closing~~~
dun noe wat time i will wak up 2morrow again~~~
good night to u~~
and sweet dream~~~
^^

Amithaba~~~~

Another months past~~

lol..

long time din update my blog lerh..

coz of lag of time~~

i went back to malacca b4 CNY to help my mom to clean house and do preparation for the coming CNY ~

it is becoz 2 of my elder sisters were in kl and my little sister was working~~

it cant be my mom doing all the stuff~~

my mom is not a robot~~xD

besides tat~

during the period of CNY my dads ancient shop was very busy~~

and oni my parents handling all the works as my previous workers quited his jobs ><

to reduce their burdens ~

i go and help lor~~

hehe~~

actually i help my parent in shop bout 1 months ++

and i experienced tat is not easy my parents to earn money for our studies (especially in kl) =(

i do really hope tat this one months helping can get reduce their burdens~~

hehe...

is damn fast tat one year once CNY had past ~~

like it oni happened in few minutes~~~

but the CNY mood this year is worse than last year~~

maybe is because both of my sisters had went back to kl on the 4th days of CNY~~~

it was not enough funs during the CNY~~~

lol....

My god damn results out last week~~

and ~~ and~~~ aiks~~

i got to resit one of the subject again~~~

haiz~~

but i had predicted it....

coz it was the most difficult out of the 3 subjects~~~

lol...

this failure had destroyed my this year plan~~

damn!

actually i planned to work from this months untill september 2011 to gain some experiences~

but now~

had to wait untill may oni can start work lerh~~

wasted 2 months~~

!!!!!!!!

my dad say tat if i failed again~~

he will not bother bout my study again!!!!

aiks~~

i cant do anything~~

i borned to be like tat~~

not good in study~~~

><""""

this time i really scared of it~~~

coz once i failed, not oni my dad will leaved me alone with my study~~

and also i will nid to repeat the diploma course again!!!!

at tat time , i will fuck myself up and done on my study~~

i will not studying anymore~~~

i will be giving up on any study in college o university!

i failed it becoz it is all bout THEORY!!!!!

the one i hate the most~~~

coz i hate memorise very much!!!

><""""

AMITHABA~

i really hope this sem can let me pass the stupid subject!!!

popi popi~~~~

missed missed missed u~~~~~

^^