失眠的深夜; 我想你了~ :-(

worrying~~~ T__T

is 5:30am now~~

juz back from MCD~

Started to worrying now for all my 7 subjects~

juz now went library after my class...

looked through all the past year papers, juz realised that i du noe most of the question is talking bout in it.

omg!!! is week 12 now... 2 more weeks will be the final exams, yet i still dun noe most of the thing in the subjects i am taking...

and that really worrying me.. ><""

2 weeks 7 subjects???

really impossible!!! haiz...

i failed to complete my course in time before liao..

i really hope there is no second time~~~

it really scared me off! =(

went mcd to start study~ but end up managed to study a bit nia~~~ ><

no mood to study at all !!!!

really nid a big big motivation!

but dun noe where can i get such this big motivation??

from something, someone, or ... aiks~

had been very very very busy for this weeks~~

5 tasks for this week~~ ><

2 assignment, 1 report, 1 test, 1 presentation~~~

they really make me like this>> @.@"""""

but finally done and finished all!!!

cool~~=D

Presentation is a nightmare for me....

i really scared of presentation, and i had used 2 weeks to get prepared....(this is the first time i been so serious and get prepared for my presentation.. xD )

my presentation title was " bridge construction"~~ LOL!

dun even had any connection to my course~~

ish!

but at least i noe how a bridge is built! xD

actually i presented not good enough because i present over the time limit... and asked by teacher to talk faster and straight to the conclusions~~ @.@""

hope she wont penalise my marks~~

overall i am statisfied wif it...

i felt that i am not that nervous as b4 and also i can speak louder and more confident ad~

if next sem still got presentation, i will do it better~~ =D

anyway~

i really hope that something or someone can motivate me to brign back my study mood~~

hope i can do weel in my final exam!

time to slp~

2morrow nid to continue my revision wif coursemates~~~

nitex~ ♥♥♥

sweet dream~ ♥♥♥

GRADUATED! =D

I had drained up 3 years to complete my diploma course

and finally everything ended on the 20th of november~

i wasted one year to resit all of my failed subjects and yet i managed to clear all the failed paper in time and get myself promoted to advanced diploma.

Spent 3 years time juz to get a chance to stand on the stand and received a scroll from our college principal and the period is juz within 10 seconds~

i dunnoe how people think of a resiting student(EZ students)??

i for me i think issit ok and i feel great on the convocations day!

this is really the first and ever time i put on a graduation gown and received a scroll from the pricipal officially~ i really feel great!

first of all~ i really thx to m parent who were working so hard for money to send me to college for 3 years juz to complete my diploma course~

they did not blame me for failed to graduate in time yet they keep on encourage me to keep stepping foward and forget bout the past~ i love u mum and dad.

juz happened last week~

one of my tutor who had taught me in diploma is teaching me now~

she recognize me and she noe my result not good and been waiting for one year to resit~

she do hurted me not shallow yet quite deep~ ><""

She asked me one questions>>

>>"Your study so sucks and din hav any special abilities~ what are you going to be in your future and how are you going to find a good job??? "

once i heard this~ my eyes immediately turn red and nealy cried out! ><

i had tried so hard to forgot all this negative thinking and she juz ~~~ haiz~~~

what i done was~ ** keep quiet~

><

after that i emo the rest of the day~

what to do~ is impossible i stand up and slap her? ><

i wont do that to a girl~

i juz tolerate wif her......

aiks...

.....

.......

.........

i hope tat i can do well in advanced diploma to ZIP up her mounth!

i got my own word>>

读书差,并不代表没有钱途!

i will proved to her one day!

U MIND MY WORD!

time for class after waiting for 6 hours in library~~ ><

byE~

破产~~

又是失眠的一天~~

对不起，因为突然又想妳了。

有时候，虽然真的很累但有睡不着。。。

不知如何是好~~

咳~

31现在在外国留学~

没有他的日子，家里便得比图书馆还要静了~~

有点不习惯~

突然有点想被他欺负的感觉~~~xD

上个星期~

在面子书pm了我一个网址~~~

问我要不要买鞋子~~

因为现在英国在summer sales, 高达50%折扣~~

看了那网址~~

突然有买鞋子的冲动~~~

爱上几双puma的~

全都很美啊！！！

那里的价格是40英磅~

算一算~~

英磅是马币5倍~~

大约200零吉左右~~~

是有点贵啦~~

但如果是在这里买~~~

不止是200零吉左右， 而是要300至400零吉！！！

再加上不能保证是真货~~~

因为每次买鞋子担心的是怕被骗买的是水货。。><

如果是从国外进口的话， 还可安慰自己些~~~xD

太多的款式和颜色~~

搞到我用了三天来做出决定~~~

结果我选了puma mid cut~~

颜色是我最爱的蓝色~~~

钱付了~~

总数是237零吉~~

再度的破产了!!!! ><

我看我要吃几个星期的面包了~~~

但是有点兴奋~~

因为这是我第一双从国外买回来的名牌鞋子~~~

千万不可以现在让爸妈知道我买这双鞋~~~

不然他们会心痛死~~~T.T

要等到十月多才可以拿到~~

因为31十月才会从英国飞回来~~

没关系啦~~反正都没那么快要穿~~~

买来留在新年穿的~~~

是有点早啦~~xD

贪便宜嘛~~xD

买了这双鞋子后~

真的要去找几份工来赚回一点钱~~~

将老爸才不会发现我把钱乱花了 =(

好啦~~

是时候睡啦~~~

失眠都要逼自己睡了~~~

晚安~~~xD

是时候了~~~

是时候会家帮爸妈的生意了~~

为了忙ttnight, 在kl留了近两个月没回家~

在这段日子里, 有想回家帮忙爸妈~

但之前答应过朋友会来帮ttnight, 结果就没办法~

只好留在kl完成我的任务~~~

说真的~

我还挺对不起我爸妈的~~

自从店里的工人跑了以后，只剩下爸妈两人打理那生意~~~

都怪那工人！

好好的~干嘛突然跑掉啊？？！！！

老板都没虐待你~~~咳~~~

这是我祖父留下来的生意~~

一直到我爸的手, 已近70年了~~

其实这生意挺好做的~

问题出在于要拿重量~~~

生意是买秤的嘛~~~

每当修一支秤， 就要把重量举上举下好几次~~~

爸妈年纪大了，真的是顶不住的啊~~~

有时连我都顶不住啊！

真是太吃力了！！

最惨的是来了300公斤以上的秤~？？？

秤的体重有我的五倍以上。。。 @.@

每次问候店里的状况的时候, 妈都会说没舍大事啦~~

叫我别担心，他们还可应付的来。

心想~

干嘛要骗我啊？？？

需要我帮忙叫我啦~~

顶多踏长巴回去, 都不麻烦嘛~~~

好过你们在哪将辛苦~~~

我会心疼的叻~~>.<

一切都完了~~~

彻底的完了~~~

ttnight 2011 过了~~

是时候回家了~~

一直到开课为止才回来~~

能帮几多就帮几多吧~~

要不我开学了~就很少机会了~~

真的剩爸妈两人了~~~T.T

希望能快快找到新的工人来减轻他们的负担~~

我感觉到我像个败家子~~

没上课，留在kl只会花钱又没去赚钱~

每个月只等爸进钱给我~~~

妈的!!!!

真是受不了自己那么颓废的生活！！！！

将下去不是办法~~

好啦~~

回去就是了啦~~~

现在凌晨五点了~~ @.@

晚安~~~ ^^

**记得要好好照顾自己哦。。。

♥♥♥♥♥Genting one day trip wif family ♥♥♥♥♥

Was a wonderful and enjoyable weekend~~~

last Saturday was my 2nd sister Campbell university convocation~~

i become my sister photographer...

lol...

dun noe how to use DSLR~~

due to the weather too hot and bright in the afternoon~~~

the pictures i took under the sun all habis...

too bright..and the colour of the pictures all gone...

coz i had no idea how to change the white balance settings~~~

i think i should ask from friend tat own a DSLR~~

sorry sister... coz most of the pictures rosak and cacat liao... T.T

i will learn till i noe how to use DSLR!!!! xD

then till 12 something.... the sun had dried me up!

>.<

then we started our journey at bout 1.30~~

luckily my phone got offline gps~~~

it really help us!

thx "papago x5" apps~~

we reached at genting skyway at bout2 smtg~~~

thn straight to buy tickets~~~

after buying our tickets for cable car~~

wah!!!!!

the queue was so damn long!!!!!

after bout 1 hour of standing and queue for our turn to board the cable car~~~

finally!!!

we got our own "private" calbe car... oni for our family... no outsider~~~ xD

haha... my sister !!!!!

she cried!! when the cable car leave the building~~ becoz she scare of high!!! xPP

Reached genting bout 4 pm~~~

thn get to the first world hotel lobby to rent hotel~~

wat??!!!!!

FULLHOUSE!!!!

i was like~~ damn! i nid a very much! i nid a bed to slp!!!!

coz i slept for 3 hours yesterday and stay under at the afternoon ~~~

it was really exhauted!!!

but haiz... no room lerh~~

at first i was thinking tat we nid to slp at lobby at night lerh... ><

wat we can do tat moment is wait ..

wait for those whose din claim for their booked room~~~

while waiting...

met jackson, alicia, and kenny kentz~~~

they were performing at the lobby there...

jackson tell me a way to get a hotel~~~

but it will more expensive than the usual price....

becoz some of them is selling room privately !!!

dun care anymore~~

juz buy from them!

fuh!!

luckily!! thx god!!

after had a cool bath~

refresh again~~~

but still got bit sleepy but had to tahan... coz haven take dinner yet!

then we took a lots of pictures!!!

it was the first time my dads so enjoy a trip with us...

for last fews time.... suddenly will get mad of a little problem~~

but now he changed d....

changed lots~~~thx dad ♥♥♥

he told joke.. play wif us~~ funny posing infront of camera~~~

i can feel tat he getting younger and younger~~~

same goes to my mum~~~♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

really really enjoy it although i was in half dead condition~~~ @@"""

but i down at last~~~

10 smtg......... i take the key from mum and go back slp first~~~

nearly sick~~~

luckily no~~~

amitabha~~~

The next day...

woke up at 8 smtg~~~

we go for our breakfast and go take pictures~~~

cool morning...

sked to take bath....

cold like in the fridge after getting from the bathroom~~~

giggling all the way... @@

after checked out hotel at 12pm~~~

we straight back to the place where we board cable car~~~

it was really really a wonderful trip♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

fully of happiness, joy, and can feel the warmness while being togather wif family!!!!

i hope tat we got trips togather always and soon♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

waiting waiting~~~ xD

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

** no token inserted~~~

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

tt night 2011 done!

tt night finished!

everything back to normal!

my life tat normally filled up by ttnight had finished~~~

ntg i can do in tt night lerh~~~

is all back to normal...

daily life>>wake up at noon>>eat>> emo>>eat>>fb>>slp at midnight

such a damn boring and useless life!!!

damn!

At least i got things to do for 24 hours during tt night~~~

we overnight in college to work out for the stage~~~

the sleepless night was sucks!

but quite cool~~~lol

coz it was my first time to overnight in college hall~~~

and went home at 9 am in the morning~~~

for 2 days and 2 nights~~~

lol....

after the actual night~~~

i feel tat....

tat sleepless night is very worth~~

coz it was a awesome night~~~

as i was enjoying the show at the audience seat~~~

is very obvious tat all the finalist had put in their max effort in tat 2 weeks since 2nd pnp~~~

really improve a lots~~~

especially the 6 emcee finalists!

congratz to all the finalists!

u all done a great job!

u all made tt night 2011 a very successful event!

can be seen the audiences were enjoying ur show!

^^

to all committees~~

u all work damn hard for tt night~~~

u all done everythings u can to make it success!

great jobs guys!

actually i very hope the event wont end~~~

coz itnot oni can fill my time up with useful activity~~~

beside can meet u most of the time~~~

and this is the oni way tat can meet u most of the time during the time~~

for now~~~

sit at home ntg to do....

cant meet u~~~

thinking to sms u but afraid of distrubing u~~~

thinking to find u on9~~~

but afraid u will feel tat i am very irritating, looking for u everyday and all the time~~~

will u??

><

everytime i saw u reply my message no matter is phone o fb~~~

i feel good and happy~~~

dun noe y~~

this is wat i feel~~~

soli~~

><

thx for take good care of the pillow~~ hehe... xP

tt night 2011 done!~~~

tt night finished!

everything back to normal!

my life tat normally filled up by ttnight had finished~~~

ntg i can do in tt night lerh~~~

is all back to normal...

daily life>> wake up at noon>> eat>> fb>> emo>> eat>>fb>> slp at midnight

such a damn boring and useless life!!!

damn!

At least i got things to do for 24 hours during tt night~~~

we overnight in college to work out for the stage~~~

the sleepless night was sucks!

but quite cool~~~lol

coz it was my first time to overnight in college hall~~~

and went home at 9 am in the morning~~~

for 2 days and 2 nights~~~

lol....

after the actual night~~~

i feel tat....

tat sleepless night is very worth~~

coz it was a awesome night~~~

as i was enjoying the show at the audience seat~~~

is very obvious tat all the finalist had put in their max effort in tat 2 weeks since 2nd pnp~~~

really improve a lots~~~

especially the 6 emcee finalists!

congratz to all the finalists!

u all done a great job!

u all made tt night 2011 a very successful event!

can be seen the audiences were enjoying ur show!

^^

to all committees~~

u all work damn hard for tt night~~~

u all done everythings u can to make it success!

great jobs guys!

actually i very hope the event wont end~~~

coz itnot oni can fill my time up with useful activity~~~

beside can meet u most of the time~~~

and this is the oni way tat can meet u most of the time during the time~~

for now~~~

sit at home ntg to do....

cant meet u~~~

thinking to sms u but afraid of distrubing u~~~

thinking to find u on9~~~

but afraid u will feel tat i am very irritating, looking for u everyday and all the time~~~ ><

will it??

>.<

别再当傻孩子了吧~~~

一个苦者找到一个和尚倾诉他的心事。

他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。”

和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。”

他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”

和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。

苦者被烫到马上松开了手。

和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。”

你可能觉得难过

因为无论你对他怎么好 他都不领情

他不是看不到 他只是装作看不到

或者他根本不想看到

你觉得自己很喜欢他

甚至觉得再没有一个人可以像你那么喜欢他

你用尽全力对他好

把他看的比自己还重要

有什么事情第一个就想到他

联系不到他的时候　你担心他担心的快疯了

然而你有没有想过

这并不在你的责任范围

而且很有可能他是在躲着你

他受不了你对他那么好

不要一直发短信给他

不要一直找他

你也许只是想找他说说话

你觉得那很正常　不算苛求

但是也许他并不这么想

记住　你的想法不代表他的想法

你是真的不求回报的在喜欢他吗

你扪心自问一下

你确定不用他回报什么吗

那为什么你会难过

若是真的一无所求

你又怎么会觉得难过呢

所以　别觉得你那么爱他是伟大的

也许她根本不在乎你怎么为他付出

有时候你给他的爱或许是种负担

这种负担只会让他更加想远离你

因为他不想亏欠你

别事事为他担心为他张罗

你觉得他没有你不行

你觉得别人做不到你那么完善

但是你要清楚

你不是他要的那个人

你做的再完善也敌不过人家不做

那个位置本来就不是你的

你何必硬要挤上去呢

你说道理你都懂　只是你做不好

喜欢他不是你的错

想关心他不是你的错

控制不住自己不是你的错

但是那是你的方式

人家不一定就能接受你这种所谓无私的爱

所以如果你喜欢他　他不喜欢你

那么就请你默默的

别试图让他知道

就算你会难过　甚至难过的流泪

就请你默默的

就算是逼自己也好

一定要忍着

傻孩子．

忘了吧．所有你留恋的．你回忆的．你拥有过的．

那些．都已是记忆．

缺失并不可怕．

可怕的．是无法面对．

傻孩子．

你无法轻易忘记放弃．是因为你付出过．

付出了．她就会像柱子一样扎根在心．

不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘记．那只会让你更痛苦．

绕开这个柱子．寻找未来的幸福生活吧．

那里．有你的理想．

傻孩子．

开始新的习惯吧．

习惯．每天一个人生活．

习惯．一个人过生日．一个人行走．

习惯．走过熟悉的路．面对熟悉的景．

你逃不掉．逃不掉的．

那么．就勇敢面对．现实．

现实是．一切．画上了句点．

傻孩子．

勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧．

这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己．

这也是你．成长中的你．

这个你．正在逐渐死去．

新的你．即将重生．

找寻你的路．你的未来．

你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成长的祭奠．

做最好的自己．即使．一个人．

傻孩子．

好．好．尽情发泄吧．

剥开自己的心．用文字．用声音．用所有能发泄的方式．

泄完了．就要振作．

看吧．你失去的．其实微不足道．

还有那么多人关心着你．以不同的方式．

所以．你并不孤独．

正是这样的失去．让你看清现在所拥有的幸福．

傻孩子．

别哭．别再哭．

不值得．真的．不值得了．

把过去尘封吧．别委屈．别不甘心．别不接受．

开始新的旅程吧．去遇见新的风景．新的际遇．

做你该做的事吧．有很多事．等待着你完成呢．

傻孩子．

生活褪去了曾有的颜色．暂时宁静．

别沉沦在这片宁静里．那会毁掉你．

你要明白．虽然残忍．但这个决定．足够正确．

现在的生活．不是你想要的．

为了你的理想．你必须学会适时放弃．

给对方最好的关怀．就是．变的更好．更强大．更幸福．

现在我对你很好、很好、很好，你不需要、你无所谓、你不在乎，你不珍惜。。。

当某天，你被伤害，想起我。那时的我再也做不到像现在这样一如既往、不顾一切的对你好了。。。

因为那时的我，已经将你放低。。。。

原来，放低一个人，最后是被对方逼出来的

how good if u are around me all the time~~~xD

Is 12.00am now

suddenly feel moodless~~~

dun noe why...

juz it came suddenly...

issit started to miss someone???

o juz too empty for the day~~~

i guess is missing someone~~~

someone tat i quite concerned bout~~~

someone tat i nid the most when i not in the mood~~

but too bad....

she is not around me when i nid it very much~~~

><

wat i can do the most is juz emo-ing alone...

sometimes will go to cyber cafe for games for at least 3 hours~~~

juz not to let myself think so much~~~

sorry for disturbing u and asking bout u everytime~~~

i juz wanted to concern bout u ~~~

to make sure u are well~~

if u dun like i asking so much...

pls do tell me~~~

i will change it~~~

everytime see u rushing assignment till midnight~~~

is very tired~~~

i noe is no choice but still u nid to try to adjust ur time to slp earlier~~~

if not will spoilt ur own health get sick easily~~~

@.@""

i am so free everyday~~~

and u rushing like hell~~~

i was thinking~~~

how good issit if i can help to to do some~~

hehe

xP

tt night 2011 had filled up my empty life~~~

at least i can get to learn things and get to noe more friends~~~

rather than i sit at home everyday facing computer and slp~~~

=D

although is tired but is worth~~~

coz one of the reason is can meet dou u most of the time~~~

hee~~ xP

everytime i meet dou u ~~

i feel nervous and dun noe wat talk~~~

sorry for tat~~

T.T

i hope i can change this problem of mine asap~~~><

i lag of guts!

damn!

i thought for ur birthday present for weeks~~~

at last i think of big bang~~~

thn think of wat to give u as ur present~~

haha... xD

to confirm ur size...

i brought my sister togather wif me when i go buy~~~

coz u both same body size~~~

haha..

she ask me to treat her mcd~~

@.@""

u like it then good lerh~~

thx for accepted the present~~~

^^

hope is fit ur size la... xP

happy birthday once again~~~ ^^

nitex~~ sweet dream~~

^.^

PARENTS is the GREATEST relative in the world~~

Sunday~

woke up at 11 smtg....

thn started to wash my dad car tat is wash by me alone everytime if i got come back to malacca....

is quite dirty and summore is in white colour~~~ @@""

i took 2 hours to clean it... plus polished the whole car to prevent the white colour to turn yellow~~~^^

3 sister went back kl in the afternoon~~

2.30pm bus....

after sent them to the bus station....

me and parents went for lunch~~~

kfc~~~

@@""

after lunch...

we went shopping till 5 smtg~~~

then go home...

after reached home....

i can feel that how my parents feel when 4 of us in kl while oni left both of them at home....

is very boring....

oni two of them...

the most they can do is watch drama ~~

tats all~~~

><"""

and how they worry bout us...

they very concern bout wat are we doing now!

dun feel irritating if ur parent call u frequently...

this mean thats they are very responsible parents...

and they love u very much as they love their life..^^

PARENTS is the GREATEST relative in the world!!!

they done everything for their children!

as example~:

my parents work very hard to earn money to support four of us to further our study in college and university!

the fees for the course is not cheap and also our daily expenses~~~

they work for money from a small bussiness~~

is quite tired and tuft ~~~

but they still very hardworking....

this is wat i have seen from my sight...

but everytime i stay in kl... i felt very helpless~~

the most i can do is when i back to malacca.... i juz went shop and help as much as i can... to reduce their burdens and pressure....

although most of the time being scolded by my dad when helpng...

of course i will get angry... but i remind myself alwayz!!!

WAT THEY HAD SUFFERED IS THOUSAND TIMES I AM SUFFERING NOW!!!

that is the way i cool myself down everytime i get scolded....

what they done to us is for our own good~~~

^^

3 more months to go ...

for my advanced diploma...

waiting waiting!!!!

><

feel very free....

i hoping very much tat my advanced start 2morrow! xD

i watched a video clips this afternoon...

is bout my previous coursemate official convocation clips....

their names is arranged according to the namelist~~

after him ~

it should be me on the stage to received the certificate of diploma course~~

but not me~~

T.T

felt sad~~~

but is juz a while oni~~~

hehe~~~

soon will be me~~~ dun noe when is the convocation date for me~~~

although is extra 1 year comparing to my previous coursemate...

but i still statisfy with is...

because this is my study ability~~ ^^

k la...

is enough for today~~~

2morrow nid to wake up very early..

7am~~ @@"""

good night and sweet dream to u ~~~ ^^