0239 midnight~~~

0239am~~~

emotion mood suddenly switched after sitting alone at the balcony and looking at the pretty sky~~~

while sitting there~~~

suddenly lots of things popped out of my mind~~~

one of them is for sure exam~~~

is juz round the corner~~~

let me think again~~

if if if~~ i failed this time again~~

wat should i do??

dad told me ~if i failed again this time ~he not going to giv me money to continue study lerh~~~

quite a heavy tension~~~><"""

keep thinking how is if i failed???

aiks~~~

i really really scare of it~~

the afraidness is more than the happening of doomsday ><"""

why my life must be like this???

why cant like my friends~~

finished their stuy smoothly~~~

passed all the times~~~

play, eat, enjoy their life while studying~~~

when is my turn????

aiks~~~

afraid there is no chance~~~

i feel very inferior to myself~~~

coz i cant do well in everythings~~~

everytime being scolded, being tease by others~

not oni that~~~

I HAD WASTED RM1120 FOR RESITING PAPER IN DIPLOMA ><"""""""

WHY WHY WHY???!!!!??!!??!?!?!?

why i nid to waste this type of unnecessary money while others no nid???!!!

issit i am not serious enough in study????

i guess tat is not true~~~

i study them like hell every exam time~~~

study 14 hours per day!!!

maybe tats the truth tat i nid to fail b4 i can pass~~~

@@"""

KL life is not fun for me currently~~~

i feel alone~~~

when everytime i got personal problem, i cant find anyone to chat wif~~~

cant find anyone to shout out to release out of my mind~~~

thinking to go trvel alone but not enough $$$~~

cant do anything!

amithaba~~~

i hope i can get rid of this kind of life as soon as possible~~~

actually i having a new plan for myself~~~

but dun noe it work o not~~~

@@""

after this resit subjects~~~

then if nid help then i go help out some in tt night~~

stage for sure~~

others things i dun noe~~

==""

then in may ~~

going to have a short course on japanese language while waiting for my advanced on september~~

issit possible???

anyone accompny me for this short course???

dun feel like going to learn alone~~

hee~~~

xD

mean while can get some part time jobs to fill up my free time~~

and not going to look for full time jobs lerh~~~

i tried last few weeks~~~

are not easy to get a job for a diploma certs holder~~~

><"""

i hope this plan works~~~

*wink*

xDD

after write it all out here i feel bit better to sleep lerh~~

heee~~

good night to u ~~~

sweet sweet dream lar~~~

xD