feeling alone ~.~

is 0325am now~~~
juz back from my dinner+supper at MCD wif my housemates~~
been ther from bout 2hours~~
backed at home now~
thinking to sleep ~
but is too full to do tat..
afraid of fatness~~~
heee~~~xD
while sitting on my bed and facing my comp~~
with the bad altitude~
start thinking dump again~~~
and making myself felt alone and cant do things well, straight to the point >> useless~
after my plan for this year ruined by the stupid subject i failed~
i feel damn free and feel like i am a useless guys sitting at home everyday doing the same things>> wake up in the afternoon , eat, watch movie, sleep, mahjong and others useless things tat cant bring myself any benefits~~
the things i should do now is study and get myself really prepared for the last stupid resit subject~
in the meanwhile i should go find some part time job to fill up my free time to earn some pocket money~~
BUT WAT AM I DOING NOW AT HOME EVERYDAY ??!!!???
can i kill myself???
when i wake up everyday, there is no one at home~~
all of them had their own things to do~~
classes and works~
but for me keep repeating the same activities everyday!
>hey !!!
this is not the life i am lookig for~~
i wan my life to be fulled with useful activities!
haiz~~~~
feeling dissapointeddddddd~~~~~
i hope tat can change my life a.s.a.p~~~~

change title~~~
all my housemates are coupled now~
even 31 and dee~~~
left oni me~~~
sometimes saw their sweet acts~
o anythings can chat wif each others~~
and also able to cook and having dinner togather~~
and i will feel envy wif that...
coz i oni can see oni~~
can hav it~~
><""
everytimes i saw it~~~
ur face will auntomatically pop out in my mind~~~
telling the truth~
i miss u~~~
i these fews months~~~
i dreamt of u many times ad~~~
but juz a dream~~
aiks....
everytime i dream of u ~~~
i hope tat i can sleeep for my whole life and never wake up~~~
i got to accept the truth tat it juz a dreammmm~~~
sad~
@@
write till here lar..
my eyes is closing~~~
dun noe wat time i will wak up 2morrow again~~~
good night to u~~
and sweet dream~~~
^^