HATE MYSELF VERY MUCH!!!!!!

Since i was young~

watever i had done was WRONG!!!

it was because i done anythings no matter is correct o wrong ~

i was scolded and shown angry faces by my dad~

i was asking myself~

it is because i am the oni boy in my family and he so care bout me till like tat??!!!!

is this the way how he taught me and grew me up~

and why my sisters are not being taught like tat???

issit because they are smart enough and i am not??!!!!

><

and i am telling the truth here ~

it had totally spoilt self-confidence~

aiks~

and now..

i am studying in college ....

because of no self confidence~

i have no confident in doing anything!!!

included my study,making friends,having conversations with other people,romance and etc~

wif all this kind of weakness~

how am i going to face the world outside within fews more years??!!!

fark!!!!

and the worst things is how am i going to built my self-confidence in such age now???!!!

haiz..

also because lagging of this stupid farking things..

i lost myself~

i had no way to go after i failed some of my stupid farking subjects!!!!

is caused me failed to make myself into advance diploma!!!

and stucking in diploma while all of my classmates are having their advanced diploma~

aiks~

why is tat all my friends can make it..

but why oni me cant???

issit i am stupid???

its not fair at all!!!!!

><

everytimes i saw my previous coursemates diploma graduations photos~

i felt very very down and very very dissapoited to myself coz i cant find myself inside those photos~

issit because of lagging of self confidence in studying???

haiz~

everytimes i go shopping with friends~

they are all in couples but oni me alone~

i was asking myself why am i alone???!!!

issit becoz again din own tat stupid farking confident again??

yes!!!

it was my answer~

SERIOUSLY~

i cant really face to face chatting wif a girl tat i am interested~

i will feel very nervous~

and cant really speak ~

lolz~

is becoz i scared i will say somethings wrong o i am not good looking~

and also i very care how she think bout me~

><

these are all becoz of no confidentS!!!

>< >< >< >< >< >< ><

how how how??!??!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I HATE MYSELF VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!

GOD!!!

show me a way!!!!!!

><

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